I’ve been having a lot of conversations lately with people feeling like they should be something (or be doing something) they’re not.
I’m here to tell you, this belief (thinking you should be/do/desire what everyone else wants) is one of the most insidious belief systems perpetuated by our society. This message is driven deeply into our core by our culture, media, educational system, corporate cultures, families, and so much more.
Some call it “keeping up with the Jones’s” (whoever they are). I call it feeling like a square peg in a round hole.
Maybe you’ve felt or are feeling this way too. Maybe you know what it feels like to be out of sync with the norm, working hard but feeling unfulfilled, being tired, overwhelmed, or feeling incomplete somehow. Or just working really hard but wondering for what??
Although this isn’t a new phenomenon, what worries me is that you will take these feelings and somehow think it’s you that’s the problem. I worry you’re trying to reshape yourself to fit the mold better. I worry you’re assuming there is something wrong with you when you can’t keep up or don’t want to keep up. I especially worry you’ll look at your dissatisfaction with life and ask, “Why isn’t this enough for me when it is for everyone else? What’s my problem? How do I fix me?”
But I ask you, when you feel like a square peg in a round hole, why do you question your shape? Why do you ask what you need to change or what you’re doing wrong?
Why aren’t you questioning the shape of the hole? Why aren’t you asking, “Hey, why is that hole round? Who said that’s the best way? Who and why is that the only way offered to me? Does that round hole even appeal to me?”
I know it’s not easy. And I’m not suggesting it is. I’m just saying, if you feel like something isn’t working. Before you assume it’s all your fault, or you’re doing something wrong, take a look at how you’re defining “working”. And make sure it’s a match for you.
