I read an article about Teen Parenting and the need for approval. It struck me that many ADULTS struggle with these same issues. The author points out that we do many material things for our kids (feed them, clothe them, run them around) but they really just want you to like them. And I would counter that it’s not just teens. Adults need to know they’re liked too!
As an adult, whose approval are you seeking?
This is an important question because if you’re not giving yourself approval then you unknowingly put this burden on someone else. This could be your spouse, significant other, family, boss, friends, or co-workers. Relying on others to fill your approval fuel tank creates dysfunctional relationships because what you’re asking these people to do is to parent you.
You’re asking them to make you feel good about yourself. And this is not their job. It’s yours.
As adults it is easy to slip into the other side of approval. To fall into disapproval, speaking to yourself in ways you wouldn’t dream of talking to someone else. This must stop. We must strive to speak to ourselves as we would anyone who was 12, 13, or 16; recognizing achievements, guiding where appropriate, and loving unconditionally.
So how about you? What kind of parenting are you giving yourself?
Kirsten Hope CBP, CHt, QPP specializes in offering The Quick Pulse, The BodyTalk System, and Hypnotherapy for adults and children who desire to live a healthier, more liberated lifestyle. You can contact her through the contact page.
About Kirsten Hope
Kirsten, it is true. I like to say to my kids that in respecting yourself there is “no negative self-talk”. It’s really how you view yourself and your attitude. And you’re right, sometimes adult need to be told that, too.
Sara, you are a great parent!